I love feeing the instant gratification of being a playwright! If something works, then I'll instantly know through applause, sniffles, laughter, etc.And it's been forever since I've felt that instant gratification. I guess boiling it down even further, I miss feeling like I matter. I wonder if some of the writers in the website mentioned in the picture above, sad playwrights.com, feel the same way. It may seem silly to some, but once I felt the "approval" of others, it felt like my life was validated. I had a purpose, to write for an audience, and because I haven't had an opportunity to present any of these stories lately, where did my reason to live go? Note: this isn't a suicide note or anything! I'm good! But it just sucks that the reason to feel alive has fallen on deaf ears... or rather, blind eyes. So, what am I planning to do to get out of this rut or way of feeling? Well, for one thing, I've been investing a lot of time looking at opportunities on The Official Playwrights of Facebook Redding page (https://www.reddit.com/r/playwriting/comments/4dd0wk/april_may_2016_playwriting_opportunities/), Play Submission Helper (http://playsubmissionshelper.com/51-play-submissions-with-june-deadlines/), etc. I've also been reading up on a couple of articles on Howlround. At the end, I just need to keep going!
So, it's feeling really sucky to be a playwright right now for me. And I think I finally figured out the cause of my suckiness: I'm no longer getting the validation I used to get from my writing. I think I wrote in a blog post AGES ago as to why I want to be a writer.