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Conrad A. Panganiban

Conrad A. Panganiban

playwright | conradap@gmail.com

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Painting myself in a box

Posted on 08/17/201406/13/2015 by Conrad

With only a year left of Grad School, I’m left with the inevitable question: What will I do with an MFA in Creative Writing? Let’s see, I can go into teaching. I’m not opposed to that, however, it behoves me to actually seek teaching (training) opportunities, di ba? But I haven’t. I don’t know if I could. Something I still have to think about.

What I really wanted to do with my training to become a playwright is to write plays for my community: the filipina/o american community. I want to be able to produce plays about themes and subjects that will bring the community together and possibly take action, in not to become aware of an issue with regards to this community. I haven’t seen anything like this before and I saw it as my niche, if you will. About two years ago, I actually fulfilled this goal with the play, Esperanza Means Hope. It was the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done in my life! It truly felt like, “Yes, this is why I’m a playwright!”

Last week I had a reading of some of my short plays. I thought it went AWESOME! Again, my intention was reached: to bring a community together for an event which they can experience a couple of scenes that reflects some part of them. But it also made me come face-to-face with the bitter reality that people in my community might not be receptive to watching a play–the very thing I want to provide for them.

After the readings, I had a couple of people come up to me saying, “Normally, I don’t like plays, but I liked yours.” That made me feel… I don’t know. It’s supposed to make me feel good, but at the same time, I questioned, “Well, if they don’t [normally] like plays, how the heck am I going to get other people to come to mine?” Or even a more daunting thought, how am I going to find producers/friends to help me put on a play if they’re not into it?

Yes. Doubt has crept into my once very optimistic psyche. And now that I’m a year out, will there be anyone out there who’ll even see more plays. I guess that’s one of the side life missions I’ve had for myself as well: How can I get more Filipina/os into the Theatre to watch a play? Musicals are another thing. I love music, musicals, plays with music in them, etc. But what about a straight play? I wonder why I don’t see a lot of Filipino writers write specific plays for Filipino audiences in America. Who would go to them? Fine, this seems very short-sighted on my part… but I can still count as many American Filipina/o playwrights (who consider themselves as full-time playwrights) on my fingers. 

This post turned into a rant. But, this is what is going through my head at the moment, and not to sound too kawawa about it, I feel like I’m alone. I’ve heard other writers of color say, “Conrad, why do you have to put yourself in a box? You don’t have to write solely for Filipinos. You’re much more than that. Why limit your audience?” My answer is, then who will write about the people I grew up with? Who will write the stories about the people who came from the place where my ancestors came from and came to this country to make a difference… to make America, America? 

Who’ll care what I write about?

Wishing myself a broken leg for my final year of Grad School. I’ll need it. :

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Headshot of Conrad A. Panganiban

Conrad A. Panganiban (he/him/his) is an award-winning Filipino American playwright representing the San Francisco Bay Area. His plays include Daryo’s All-American Diner, Welga, and River’s Message. Conrad’s work has been produced by Bindlestiff Studio, The Chikahan Company, CIRCA Pintig (IL), the MaArte Theatre Collective, and CATS (Contemporary Asian Theatre Scene) . Awards include: Best Play of 2023, Daryo’s All-American Diner (BroadwayWorldAwards Chicago), Best New Play, Daryo’s All-American Diner (Chicago Reader, Best of 2023), Susan Fairbrook Playwright Fund Awardee (TheatreWorks Silicon Valley), 2023 New Voices in Comedy Writing Fellowship (Killing My Lobster), James Milton Highsmith Award Winner (SFSU), National Ten-Minute Play Festival Finalist (Actors Theatre of Louisville), and Bay Area Playwrights Festival Semi-Finalist (Playwrights Foundation). Resident Artist: Bindlestiff Studio. Member: Dramatist Guild of America, and Theatre Bay Area. MFA, San Francisco State University. @consplayspace

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