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playwright | conradap@gmail.com

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Validating My Voice… or Lack Thereof

Posted on 05/24/2016 by Conrad
Screen Shot 2016-05-24 at 7.56.35 PM
SadPlaywrights.com

 

So, it’s feeling really sucky to be a playwright right now for me. And I think I finally figured out the cause of my suckiness: I’m no longer getting the validation I used to get from my writing. I think I wrote in a blog post AGES ago as to why I want to be a writer.

I love feeing the instant gratification of being a playwright! If something works, then I’ll instantly know through applause, sniffles, laughter, etc.

And it’s been forever since I’ve felt that instant gratification. I guess boiling it down even further, I miss feeling like I matter. I wonder if some of the writers in the website mentioned in the picture above, sad playwrights.com, feel the same way. It may seem silly to some, but once I felt the “approval” of others, it felt like my life was validated. I had a purpose, to write for an audience, and because I haven’t had an opportunity to present any of these stories lately, where did my reason to live go? Note: this isn’t a suicide note or anything! I’m good! But it just sucks that the reason to feel alive has fallen on deaf ears… or rather, blind eyes.

So, what am I planning to do to get out of this rut or way of feeling? Well, for one thing, I’ve been investing a lot of time looking at opportunities on The Official Playwrights of Facebook Redding page (https://www.reddit.com/r/playwriting/comments/4dd0wk/april_may_2016_playwriting_opportunities/), Play Submission Helper (http://playsubmissionshelper.com/51-play-submissions-with-june-deadlines/), etc. I’ve also been reading up on a couple of articles on Howlround.

At the end, I just need to keep going!

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Headshot of Conrad A. Panganiban

Conrad A. Panganiban (he/him/his) is an award-winning Filipino American playwright representing the San Francisco Bay Area. His plays include Daryo’s All-American Diner, Welga, and River’s Message. Conrad’s work has been produced by Bindlestiff Studio, The Chikahan Company, CIRCA Pintig (IL), the MaArte Theatre Collective, and CATS (Contemporary Asian Theatre Scene) . Awards include: Best Play of 2023, Daryo’s All-American Diner (BroadwayWorldAwards Chicago), Best New Play, Daryo’s All-American Diner (Chicago Reader, Best of 2023), Susan Fairbrook Playwright Fund Awardee (TheatreWorks Silicon Valley), 2023 New Voices in Comedy Writing Fellowship (Killing My Lobster), James Milton Highsmith Award Winner (SFSU), National Ten-Minute Play Festival Finalist (Actors Theatre of Louisville), and Bay Area Playwrights Festival Semi-Finalist (Playwrights Foundation). Resident Artist: Bindlestiff Studio. Member: Dramatist Guild of America, and Theatre Bay Area. MFA, San Francisco State University. @consplayspace

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