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Conrad A. Panganiban

Conrad A. Panganiban

playwright | conradap@gmail.com

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The Cat from Inpanema – Play 01

Posted on 08/02/201908/02/2019 by Conrad

Cast of Characters
Dani (She, her, hers) 20-30s. Actor of Color.
Mila (She, her, hers) 20-30s. Actor of Color.

Fade up music: The Girl from Inpanema by Stan Getz and Astrud Gilberto

Dani and Mila are sitting in a couple of seats at a airport gate minutes before boarding a flight. They are both digging in their carry-ons.

DANI
Mila, I told you that I packed it.

MILA
Telling and knowing are two different things, Dani!

DANI
Keep your voice down.

MILA
Why? You don’t want everyone to hear how big of a dildo my spouse is for forgetting Pete’s ashes!

DANI
(to all the surrounding passengers) Pete was our cat, everyone. Not Mila’s dad or grandpa!

MILA
Pete was re-incarnated from my Grand Tio Pedro’s soul!

DANI
Which was never proven!

MILA
You know that cat played the piano just like Grand Tio Pedro.

DANI
When he was drunk? Yeah, I did notice.

MILA
Don’t you dare speak bad of the dead!

DANI
Why not? He can’t hear me. Especially since it was your responsibility to put his reincarnated cat’s ashes in your carry-on!

MILA
So you’re blaming me for losing him?

DANI
No, I’m blaming you for killing him!

MILA
Pete died of natural causes!

DANI
Choking on your fidget spinner is not a natural cause. But no. I wasn’t talking about him, I was talking about your Grand Tio Pedro!

MILA
Oh my God! How many times have we gone over this!? That was an accident!

DANI
All you had to do was to make sure that the lever didn’t move. But no! It moved and then splat went Grand Tio Pedro!

MILA
It was your idea to lower the piano out of our apartment window!

DANI
How else are we supposed to move it from five stories up?

MILA
And it was YOU who told Grand Tio to stand below it to make sure no one walked underneath it.

DANI
Because it was him who wanted the piano back because you stopped playing it.

MILA
Now, you’re blaming my inability to play piano for the death of my Grand Tio?

DANI
You know what? Yes. I am going to blame you for that.

MILA
I knew it.

DANI
I blame you for wanting to get rid of something that brought us together. The first time I heard you play Astrud Gilberto’s “Girl from Inpanema” on that out of tune piano when we worked at Costco, I knew that you were the most talented person that I’d ever meet. And then when you followed that up with Kai’s “Say You’ll Stay” and Pinay’s “Next Time”, I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

MILA
Grand Tio Pedro was the person who taught me that song, the Girl from Inpanema.

DANI
I know. But if he taught you that Kai song, then I would have married him first.

MILA
Would you have still have married me knowing I couldn’t play any more?

DANI
Mila, you playing those Fil-Am 90s songs opened the door, but it was who you: your personality, your attitude, your wit, and your love that made the key. And nothing will ever change that.

MILA
Not even my-

DANI
Not even your Parkinsons.

They kiss.

MILA
Thank you.

DANI
But you losing Pete’s ashes… that’s kind of a deal breaker.

MILA
Hey! Pete was your responsibility, you crack head.

DANI
Crack head… shoot.

DANI unzips a pocket of her carry-on and pulls out a ziplock back that contains an ash-like substance.

DANI
Hey, Pete. I forgot that I put you in the Cracker bag!

MILA grabs the ziplock bag and hugs it.

MILA
Hi, Grand Tio Pedro.

DANI
Now who looks like the crack head?

MILA
He’s going to like it there.

DANI
Who wouldn’t like being spread on the beaches of Inpanema?

MILA
Where he and my Grand Tia Rosalinda first met.

DANI
The girl from Inpanema?

Bell-tones fill the air followed by an OVERHEAD VOICE is heard.

OVERHEAD VOICE
Air Brazil Flight to Rio De Jinero is boarding in 15 minutes.

DANI
Ready Pete?

MILA
Grand Tio Pedro’s ready.

MILA and DANI stand up and exit with their carry-ons.

Fade out music: Say You’ll Stay by Kai

END OF PLAY.

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Headshot of Conrad A. Panganiban

Conrad A. Panganiban (he/him/his) is an award-winning Filipino American playwright representing the San Francisco Bay Area. His plays include Daryo’s All-American Diner, Welga, and River’s Message. Conrad’s work has been produced by Bindlestiff Studio, The Chikahan Company, CIRCA Pintig (IL), the MaArte Theatre Collective, and CATS (Contemporary Asian Theatre Scene) . Awards include: Best Play of 2023, Daryo’s All-American Diner (BroadwayWorldAwards Chicago), Best New Play, Daryo’s All-American Diner (Chicago Reader, Best of 2023), Susan Fairbrook Playwright Fund Awardee (TheatreWorks Silicon Valley), 2023 New Voices in Comedy Writing Fellowship (Killing My Lobster), James Milton Highsmith Award Winner (SFSU), National Ten-Minute Play Festival Finalist (Actors Theatre of Louisville), and Bay Area Playwrights Festival Semi-Finalist (Playwrights Foundation). Resident Artist: Bindlestiff Studio. Member: Dramatist Guild of America, and Theatre Bay Area. MFA, San Francisco State University. @consplayspace

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